Mickey's, Franziskaner, Blue Star, Kelpie

We really don't have a theme for this edition of Drinking Round the World, unless it's "things that don't belong elsewhere." We have two wheat beers, a kelp beer, and a malt liquor. Hey, we never said we only reviewed good beers in this space. Let's look at what we have today...

Mickey's Malt Liquor
Country: USA (Wisconsin)

Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse
Country: Germany

Blue Star
Country: USA (California)

Kelpie
Country: Scotland

First up is the Mickey's Malt Liquor. The first reaction was one of delight from some of our crew (malt liquor enthusiast Rusty), dread from some (Fish and Gryphon), and confusion from the rest ("We review malt liquors? I didn't sign up for this...) But how does it taste. Let's find out.

Fish: This isn't beer. Who took the beer? This is carbonated water with lemon. I get almost no flavor. It's refreshing, but refreshing is a word for good cold water, not beer. I'll give it 2 pints. It's not skunky like some, but that's only because it has no flavor at all really.
Gryphon: I taste no lemon. I taste no anything. Nothing. No alcohol, no hops, no malts, nothing. This is beer? *looks at bottle* It claims to be beer. It tastes like bad tapwater. I'm contacting the federal trade commission. 1 pint and I'm being generous because I'm still euphoric from the Bridgeport last time.
Tserof: Where's the beef? When I want beer, I want something more than this. This seriously needs a flavor of some kind. 2 pints.
Rusty: I like it. This is good malt liquor. It's "inoffensive". I'll drink the rest of those if you guys don't want them. 5.5 pints from me.
Mad Mike: Not horrible. Not much of anything really. Very little taste at all. But it's not nearly as bad as you guys make it out to be. 4 pints.

The Woodchuckers:
Ashlynne: *mild bitter beer face* I get a little bit of weird flavor, but not much. I'd rather have a water. 1 pint.
Jalera: No flavor. I'm not impressed. 2 pints.

Final Tally: 2.9
Drinkers' Average: 1.5


Next up, we have Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse. And yes, I had to bring an empty home and look at it again in order to spell that...

Fish: This is pretty smooth. I get a flavor of rosemary and cotton candy. It's kind of nice. 4 pints.
Gryphon: Rosemary and cotton candy? Dude, those cigs have burned off your taste buds. The rosemary is definitely there, and strong. But the cotton candy? You need to lay off the cough syrup buddy. Anyway, the beer is kind of strange. You don't expect a beer to taste like Rosemary. I might have to buy one of these to marinate a roast. 5 pints.
Tserof: Weird spice thing going on. Tastes like a Bud with pumpkin pie spice in it. 3 pints. I don't care that much for it. I'd drink it, but not if something else was there.
Rusty: Odd taste, but pleasant. I like it. 6 pints from me.
Mad Mike: Different than anything I've ever tasted. And not in a bad way. Pretty good stuff. This is the first wheat beer I've ever had. I'm happy so far. 6 pints.

The Woodchuckers
Jalera: It's a little sour, and there's that spice in there that you guys talk about. Not awful. 4 pints.
Ashlynne: Herbal. That's what I think when I drink this. Not great, but there's no aftertaste. 3 pints from me.

Final Tally:
Drinkers' Average: 4.8
Woodchuckers' Average: 3.5


Next up we have Blue Star, our second wheat beer of the night hailing from California.

Fish: Damn. This beer is good. Nice clean finish. What I expect from a wheat beer. 8 pints and hand me another.
Gryphon: Mmmm... Wheat beer. *drools like Homer Simpson* It's very wheaty, which is a good thing from a wheat beer. I'm impressed. Hell, hand me another one too. 7 pints here.
Tserof: This is good. Good taste, very little aftertaste. I like. 8 pints from me too.
Rusty: I still taste the Sierra Nevada from last time... This is good as far as I can tell. 7 pints.
Mad Mike: I think we're all still tasting the Sierra Nevada every time we burp, and probably will be for a week or two... This is good beer. No big aftertaste. Goes down nice and clean. Good flavor. I'll give it an 8.

The Woodchuckers
Ashlynne: Too sour. Yuck. 2 pints at best.
Jalera: Nice and malty. Like Guinness, but less robust. Decent beer. 4 pints from me.

Final Tally:
Drinkers' Average: 7.6
Woodchuckers' Average: 3

And our final beer is the oddball of the lot. Kelpie. Made from seaweed. Can seaweed make good beer? It's from Scotland, which should win it points with Fish (who has been known to attend Renfests bekilted). But then so is Haggis... Let's find out.

Fish: Smooth. Low carbonation. A very unique flavor. I like it. 7 pints.
Gryphon: This is the weirdest thing I've ever had. It's not bad, it's just really really odd. I don't know how to rate this. It's too alien. 5 pints I guess.
Tserof: I love this one. Strong flavor. It's sweet, but not overpowering like the Mackeson's was. 9 pints for a great beer.
Rusty: This stuff says it's made from Bladder Rack Seaweed. Not a great name for an ingredient... That said, it has a mild flavor and is very drinkable. 8 from me.
Mad Mike: Very smooth. Not bitter. Not sweet. A very balanced beer. 7.5 pints.

The Woodchuckers
Ashlynne: This is decent. I can drink this. 6 pints.
Jalera: The chocolate flavor in this sneaks up on you. You don't notice it's there until several swigs in. It's ok. 4 pints.

Final Tally:
Drinkers' Average: 7.3
Woodchuckers' Average: 5

So there you have it, fellow drinkers. The beers have been drunk, the designated drivers assigned. Join us next time when we'll review more beers from around the globe.